The Weekly WTF: Algae and Iran conspire against Trump

Plus, put the next government shutdown on your calendar and be glad you don't live in Russia.

THIS STUFF ACTUALLY HAPPENED:

“The pool monologues.” That’s the Internet’s new sobriquet for President Trump’s regular harangues against the algae that keep fouling the reflecting pool on the National Mall that Trump is trying to clean up. Trump hosted NATO Secretary-General Mark Rutte in the Oval Office on June 24, and the biggest newsmaker from the session wasn’t the Ukraine war or the future of NATO or the Iran situationship, but the status of the algae and who might be abetting the algae in its vile scheme to drive Trump mad.

The upside to this scandal is that we’re all getting an overdue education on these plucky little organisms. For instance: This is why Trump can’t defeat the algae. Here’s why the algae turn everything green. This is why Trump attacked the algae at the wrong time of the year. Here’s an argument for leaving the algae alone and turning the reflecting pool into a huge aquarium, with fish and everything. And if you’re wondering if the algae is a metaphor for Trump’s entire presidency, well, many serious commentators can verify that yes, it is.

[Trump v. Trump: Why the first Trump economy was better.]

Aya-toll. Iran is firming up plans to charge tolls for ships passing through the Strait of Hormuz by copying the way Turkey charges fees for passage through the Dardanelles Strait, which a 1936 treaty allows. The Wall Street Journal reports that Iran could earn $40 billion per year in fees for “security, safety and environmental services,” and that Iran is offering to share some of this bounty with other Persian Gulf nations, to get them to buy in.

You might be wondering, hold on, was new money for Iran one of the goals of the war Trump launched against Iran on February 28? Well, it wasn’t then, but maybe it is now. Trump is desperate to end his Iran misadventure. Nobody supports this slipshod war any more, and Trump’s own Republicans are turning on him. With oil and gas prices now falling back toward normal ranges, there’s basically no chance Trump will face down Iran again and risk another energy crisis.

The combative algae and the defiant Iranians have conspired to drive Trump’s approval ratings to new all-time lows in the 30-percent range. The algae will probably retreat once fall arrives and the weather cools down. Iran will remain a menace for years, and future presidents will have to deal with the mess Trump leaves behind.

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No housing for you! I was getting ready to write an explainer of the housing-affordability bill Congress just passed, which is a rare bipartisan effort that might actually do some good. But Trump is standing in the way. Congress passed the bill on June 23, but the next day Trump said he wouldn’t sign it. He’s not vetoing the bill. What he’s doing is trying to hold the government hostage by blocking everything he can until Congress passes a janky election law, misleadingly called the SAVE America Act. Critics characterize the bill as a voter-suppression effort.

The SAVE America Act has passed the House, but all Senate Democrats oppose it, which means there’s no way it can get past the filibuster. So Trump is pressuring Senate Republicans to scrap the filibuster, in order to get it passed. They don’t want to.

Most Americans are not clamoring for a voter-suppression law. Many do want relief from high prices, including housing, which is the biggest monthly bill for most families. Trump will probably sign the housing bill, even if the delay means Congress has to pass it again. But he’s giving Democrats a gift by taking a stance against affordable housing, if only for a spell. And this comes after Trump said on camera on June 10, “I love the inflation.” Americans have peculiar tastes in presidents.

Shutdown, sure, why not. Imagine that your regular airline said it might shut down for a while in the fall. Or Amazon or Walmart or Netflix. It might be days or weeks, who knows. Sorry, customers, you’ll have to do without.

[Are you better off than one year ago? Our Better-Off Index has the answer]

Well that’s what Congress is signaling. Disputes over spending bills needed to keep the government operating after Sept. 30 are already so severe that members of both political parties are warning of a government shutdown just before the November midterm elections.

The death penalty seems a bit too severe for politicians who can’t keep the government open. But jail time might be appropriate? Fines? Hefty community service requirements, like cleaning trash off the Cross-Bronx Expressway for a couple of months? Whichever candidate makes this part of her 2028 presidential campaign gets my vote.

Is this thing on? When Trump signed an executive order on quantum computing on June 22, he stumbled while trying to read the words “quantum cryptography,” then asked a group assembled in the Oval Office, “does anybody know what that is?” You can watch brief clips here or here. Ask yourself if Trump has any idea what he’s signing, and if he doesn’t, who drafted the quantum cryptography order? Then send me your best joke about Joe Biden’s autopen.

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Can you spare some gas, brother? Russia, normally one of the world’s largest exporters of petroleum products, is running so short of gasoline that it’s quietly trying to import 50,000 tons of gasoline from Kazakhstan. That’s about one tanker full of gasoline, or 18 million gallons. More could follow.

Normally, nobody would care. But Ukraine is battering Russia’s energy infrastructure to the point that domestic shortages are developing in a fossil-fuel colossus, which is remarkable considering that Ukraine had essentially no long-range strike capability when Russia invaded in 2022. Now, Ukraine is wrecking refineries and other facilities in Moscow and elsewhere, with some of the world’s most advanced drones.

I provide updates on the Ukraine war from time to time because nobody should zone out on the biggest European conflict since World War II. Also, if life in America is bumming you out, it’s a good reminder that it could always be worse.

Solar power ^🌞. Here’s an upbeat WTF. The Energy Information Administration says electricity consumption from the grid in New York state is declining because of all the solar panels people are installing at the household level. Nobody tracks the amount of solar power generated home-by-home, because it never enters the grid. But household solar installation is up in New York and springtime demand for metered electricity declined this year, which EIA attributes to solar. As a wintry northeast state, New York isn’t what you think of as a solar hotbed. But as the cost of solar equipment declines, homeowners do the math and decide solar makes sense.

Trump’s atavistic hostility toward renewable energy hasn’t killed it. Even though Trump and his fellow Republicans axed most of the green-energy incentives Biden signed into law, most new power generation in the United States is still solar and other renewables. It’s a good example of how progress continues even with troglodytes in charge. Once Trump is out of the way, renewables will rise again.

Enjoy a real cartoon.

Cartoon by Dan Misdea

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