<![CDATA[The Pinpoint Press, with Rick Newman : The Haiku News]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/s/the-haiku-newshttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!L419!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2a434a39-8ae8-48e7-97f7-fbcbefb26219_256x256.pngThe Pinpoint Press, with Rick Newman : The Haiku Newshttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/s/the-haiku-newsSubstackFri, 01 May 2026 07:51:28 GMT<![CDATA[Trump sleeps through meetings (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-sleeps-through-meetings-haikuhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-sleeps-through-meetings-haikuWed, 03 Dec 2025 20:08:38 GMTOwning the libs is

Hard work. My mouth never stops

Naps refresh my rage

🙃

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]]><![CDATA[Happy Thanksgiving (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/happy-thanksgiving-haiku-versionhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/happy-thanksgiving-haiku-versionThu, 27 Nov 2025 14:16:51 GMTWoke up. The parts worked

Got good folks around, plus food

Seems like a fine day

🙃

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]]><![CDATA[Trump meets Mamdani (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-meets-mamdani-haiku-versionhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-meets-mamdani-haiku-versionSat, 22 Nov 2025 14:30:45 GMTA Muslim Commie

So much to dislike yet he

Didn’t smell that bad

🙃

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]]><![CDATA[Trump approves release of Epstein files (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-approves-release-of-epsteinhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-approves-release-of-epsteinThu, 20 Nov 2025 13:22:50 GMTMaybe now’s the time

To release my doctor notes

And claim dementia

🙃

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]]><![CDATA[Trump discovers the affordability crisis (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-discovers-the-affordabilityhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-discovers-the-affordabilityWed, 19 Nov 2025 14:39:50 GMTWhat’s so expensive?

I thought everything was free

Fine, I’ll write a tweet

🙃

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]]><![CDATA[Introducing The Pinpoint Press (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/introducing-the-pinpoint-press-haikuhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/introducing-the-pinpoint-press-haikuTue, 18 Nov 2025 18:10:21 GMTDo you like your news

That would be unusual

Try The Pinpoint Press

🙃

]]><![CDATA[Trump knew all about Epstein (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-knew-all-about-epstein-haikuhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-knew-all-about-epstein-haikuThu, 13 Nov 2025 14:50:40 GMTJeff had tons of girls

Younger than Melania

What a lucky guy

🙃

]]><![CDATA[Tesla grants Elon Musk $1 trillion pay package (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/tesla-grants-elon-musk-1-trillionhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/tesla-grants-elon-musk-1-trillionSat, 08 Nov 2025 14:46:52 GMTPay me one trillion

And you’ll get dancing robots

That nobody wants

🙃

]]><![CDATA[Inflation creeps back up (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/inflation-creeps-back-up-haiku-versionhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/inflation-creeps-back-up-haiku-versionFri, 24 Oct 2025 13:07:26 GMTEgg prices are down

But now coffee costs too much

Beans instead of beef

🙃

spilled coffee

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Related: Eggflation is over …

]]><![CDATA[Trump bulldozes half the White House (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-bulldozes-half-the-white-househttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-bulldozes-half-the-white-houseThu, 23 Oct 2025 14:08:15 GMT“People’s house,” my ass

Mar-a-Lago North it is

And I’m keeping it

🙃

a chandelier hanging from the ceiling in a room
Photo by Encal Media on Unsplash

]]><![CDATA[The government shuts down (haiku version) ]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/the-government-shuts-down-haiku-versionhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/the-government-shuts-down-haiku-versionWed, 22 Oct 2025 13:00:41 GMTWho needs it? We can

Build our own roads and armies

Netflix still works, right?

🙃

A black and white photo of a door with a question mark on it
Photo by John Cardamone on Unsplash

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Related: One thing to know about the government shutdown

]]><![CDATA[Trump announces Middle East peace (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-announces-middle-east-peacehttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-announces-middle-east-peaceTue, 21 Oct 2025 17:13:03 GMTClean up this rubble

Build some hotels on the beach

My cut is one-half

brown wooden frame on brown wooden wall
Photo by Jason Mitrione on Unsplash

]]><![CDATA[Stocks hit record highs (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/stocks-hit-record-highs-haiku-versionhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/stocks-hit-record-highs-haiku-versionTue, 21 Oct 2025 16:10:28 GMTWow I’m getting rich

Wonder if it’s all a dream

Wait now—you have more?

🙃

man in blue dress shirt holding white ceramic mug
Photo by Brock Wegner on Unsplash

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Related: Trump really needs a hot stock market

]]><![CDATA[Trump sends troops to cities (haiku version)]]>https://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-sends-troops-to-cities-haikuhttps://www.thepinpointpress.com/p/trump-sends-troops-to-cities-haikuTue, 21 Oct 2025 15:08:24 GMTThey are messy, yeah

But do cities need more thugs?

I’m scared, you go look

🙃

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Related: Trump should worry about Putin, not Portland

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